Ok, while I wait in agonising anticipation for my sage-stuffed bream and roast potatoes to be ready (the smell is killing me) I am popping in to make a quick square-eyed updatette.

1. Who else is watching Homeland on Channel 4?  I'm really enjoying it so far.  I used to think of Claire Danes as Gwyneth Lite but she's quite good in this. (Her character is even more flawed than Sara Lund).  Also it has Damian Lewis being ginger.

2. Episode 1 of Alcatraz showed promise - and had a good ending.  Hooray for Sam Neil.  There should be more Sam Neil.  So say I.
 
3. A few eps into Grimm, I am not overly convinced.  I fear it might already be slipping into formulaville.  But I'll give it a chance.
 
4. I am so gagging for the next big thing.  You know...  something really really good.  I've decided to order season 1 of Breaking Bad on dvd.  I do hope this hits the spot and isn't just man-hype.
 
5. On the vague off-chance... does anyone have a copy of season 4 of Fringe that they're willing to lend?  We bought our TIVO too late to catch the first half of the series.  Tsk. 

6. For want of anything new and exciting we have been re-watching Buffy.... again.  Oh it's such a guilty pleasure.  Like  spending a day in your PJs after a long week in a business suit.  Bless!

Well that's all from me.  Time to take my square eyes kitchenwards...

...you get an even suntan, on your back and on your legs.

Nope - I'm afraid those lyrics never made any sense to me, either.  I only mention them because apparently Marie Claire gets her 'even suntan' in Juan Les Pins... which is where we are going on holiday, or near enough anyway.  The Cote D'Azur is becoming a bit of a habit, but at least it will be new to Jim-Jam, who was a mere twinkle in my eye the last time we visited.
 
Oh jubilations!  This is a last hoorah in May before my maternity leave runs out (wail!)  We're holling with fellow foodie sara_lou once again.  I can only assume that she is a glutton for punishment as well as asparagus.  
 
Last night we finalised our flights and booked this house in the old town area of Antibes, which is right next door to Juan Les Pins but a wee bit quieter and less touristy. Dreamy!  I love the fact that the ground floor living room is open plan with the kitchen, which opens out onto the garden.  I'm anticipating a week of market shopping and culinary shenanigans and praying for the sort of weather where we can breakfast on croissants in the courtyard.  
 
It does change things somewhat, having a baby with you.  I keep coming up with grand plans involving beautiful hillside villages, accessed via several mile walks through steep, precarious terrain. Hmmm. Maybe. 

Anyway the last time we visited Antibes I took this photo, which pretty much illustrates what holidays are all about for me...




Now I suppose I should go and get myself dressed and presentable... 

In the meantime, may I wish a happy Mother's Day to you and/or your mothers (tick as applicable)

x

Huh - in my dreams!  I'm afraid the sad truth is that nobody respects mah authoritah around here *.

If I shout at the cats, they glance round at me for a second and then carry on regardless.  The second time I shout at them, in a much louder, crosser voice, they don't even bother to look.  I have exactly the same effect on interloping tomcats who give me GETOUTOFMYHOUSE rage.  They might as well say "face - bothered?" at me.  By contrast, when G shouts at the cats, they immediately stop what they're doing and jump down/run away/drop it/hide or whatever is required.  No sass whatsoever.  

Furthermore, Microboy's reaction to me shouting angrily at the cats is a grin of unadulterated glee.  Sadly I don't think this is early evidence of sibling schadenfreude; it appears to be little other than evidence that the sound of my raised voice is hilarious.  Oh the parenting joy I have ahead of me...

* (G has pointed out that the only person around here who does in fact respect mah authoritah is G.  Well, I suppose that's something.)

Fiends, it is with a tear of genuine sadness that I announce the death of Willow, the world's most beautiful laptop.  A thing of glossy, blood-red foxiness, she has served me well for an amazingly long time and still remains more gorgeous than anything Sony have produced since.  However she appears to have gone the same way as my previous Vaio - a knackered power socket. 
 
So I have done the deed.  I have gone to the squeaky bright side and bought a 13" Macbook Air.  It will arrive in 3 days' time.
   
G is already bracing himself for the barrage of swearing that will ensue every time I discover some new thing that the Mac won't let me do that I could do on Windows. I can't help it....  I know it's gonna happen.  I already get outraged on a daily basis by our various house Macs.  However I also kind of love them for being so... y'know.  And I've had to concede that, these days, I mainly use my laptop for sifting through billions of photographs and HD video processing - and tend to remote-control my Windows work machine when I need to use professional software at home.  Also my style of working is to have 85 applications all running at once and to reboot under sufferance once a century.  G has forced me to do online research to check how it will cope, and the word on the street is that the latest Air is well equipped for such shenanigans.  Also it has a very nice screen resolution.  And iz waffer thin!  
 
So wish me luck.  I promise I'll try not to axe it to pieces straight away. 
 
In other news - a NEW FLATPACK has just arrived!!!  This is Jim-Jam's baby bookcase.  Oh how I love flatpacks.  Especially easy ones like this. Funski!

Good evening Fiendlets,

It's been a while since I did a square-eyed ramble, so here goes...

Since we got our TIVO box we've watched some quite good telly on our late evenings when Micro is in bed.  Assuming you don't mind wading through the 8 billions channels of tat, there are a few decent channels and it's also rather cool to have access to old shows on Catch-up TV.

The other week we watched State of Play (the original 2003 TV series).  Its a drama/thriller in 6 parts, centred around a news journalist and a politician.  It was available on catch-up TV but I think it's also on DVD.  Anyway I really enjoyed it.  It's got loads of actors in it who went on to become familiar faces.  (I had previously watched the US film remake which wasn't bad, but the TV original is definitely better).  
 
Catch-up TV also has the 1985 mini-series of Edge of Darkness available.  What say ye?  Yay or Nay?

Another goodie (I think) is Rubicon - an American thriller series about a small team of political code breakers/investigators.  (I think it's on BBC4, so no need for TIVO, but will have to check).  Anyway we're only 2 episodes in, and I must confess that G and I are spending a lot of time guessing at the potential cliches that might come up.  But I'm enjoying it nonetheless.  The whole theme of thriller/conspiracy/code-breaking could not be rammed any further up my alley - hence I am perfectly willing to let it off if it all gets a bit silly.  

BBC4 is also currently showing the 80s series The Singing Detective, which I seem to recall being very good,  Am I remembering correctly?  (Am recording it but haven't re-watched any of it yet)

Rather annoyingly we bought the TIVO too late to catch the start of series 4 of Fringe  (an excellent American Skiffy show) which means that we have to wait until they start it over again.  In the meantime, in a bid to fill the hole, we've had a go on Haven and Eureka, neither of which really come close.  But they're alright for a bit of unchallenging chewing-gum-for-the-eyes, just before bed... I spose.
 
Ooh, another good thing from TIVO is that it keeps showing the old Blackadders.  I'm usually not a big fan of wallowing in 'the good old days' of telly from one's youth but recently I've made a few exceptions, especially for Bladder.  It really is consistently funnier than anything that's on now.  I can't deny that I've had some great laughs from the likes of Spaced, Misfits and the Inbetweeners, but there's not a lot else I can think of from the last 15 years or so that has made me do proper lols all the way through it in the same way as Blackadder.  It has the perfect holy trinity of smut, wordplay and slapstick.

As for the coming-soons, I'm probably going to have a spin on the new Danish killer-thriller on ITV3 to see if it's worth a go (I forget the name) and anything else Danish that comes up.  Also I quite fancy something called Alcatraz that hasn't started yet and another one called Grimm
 
Well that's probably enough about my sad life. And my takeaway has just arrived - hooray!  

   

...I love it when you lot post reviews of books and films and music and the rest.  Some of you are really good at writing reviews.

And because I am so highly suggestible, I almost always go and have a listen/read if the review intrigues me.  These days it has become my main route to discovering new things, especially music and books. 
 
(Admittedly I tend to ignore them if they are about death metal or some such silliness, but apart from that I read them voraciously, even if I don't always comment)

Those of you who like to take baths, here's my tip of the week for a pure, uncomplicated, feel-good, mood-lifting wallow...

While the water is running, throw in a good, healthy slosh of Sweet Orange essential oil (it's dirt cheap and ultra-safe, so you can afford to be generous).  Then add a not-too-parsimonious sprinkle of Ylang Ylang (if you are a stickler for detail, aim for approx 1 part Ylang Ylang to 3 parts Orange).  If that's all you've got handy, then stop there, and it's very nice indeed.  Comforting and uncomplicated... think of it as the Dairy Milk of aromatherapy.   
 
Should you wish to go further and enhance it with some depth and complexity, chuck in a few more sprinkles of any of the following:  Geranium for flowery oomph, Bergamot for fresh floral/citrus, Patchouli for earthy sophistication, Cedarwood for 'I'm a lumberjack' manliness.   (In fact, all of the above will blend together beautifully - just sprinkle with gay abandon until it smells nice)
 
Apols to those of you who might happen to read this missive of indulgent soakery whilst stuck at your desks... but y'know - think of it as something to look forward to, come hometime. 

So...  amid a week of a grizzly sick Microbe and purée-making mania, I've been finding some time here and there to play Assassins Creed Revelations. 

For those of you who are not gamers, it means that I get to run around the rooftops of the unbelievably stunning 16th Century Constantinople...



...collecting shinies and doing stuff like this:



Anyway here's the thing.  Typically whenever a game gives me any option, I play as a pacifist. For example, in Fallout 3, my interactions with other humans were so saintly and do-gooding that my social status could only be illustrated by a little picture of a sandal-wearing Jesus figure.  This despite the fact that I spent the entire time dressed in full combat gear, leveled up to maximum gun skills, taking out super-mutants by shooting them relentlessly in the knee until they died.  (But that didn't matter because they were mutants and therefore asking for it.)
 
Anyway the problem with the Ass Creed games is that they just won't let me be a pacifist assassin.  Every time I am minding my own business, scaling a tower to try and collect a shiny from the top of it, my peace is broken by a barrage of jobsworthy guards shouting "Hey, you! Get down!"  "You will die for this!"  "Don't let him get away!" ...and I then have to kill them all, bloodily, with my magnificent weaponry.
 
Not only that, but the 'engage parachute' button is the same button that makes you leap from a rooftop and assassinate a passer-by by pinning him to the ground through the eye with your hidden blade.  G keeps catching me in the act of apologising sheepishly to pixelated people that I have accidentally assassinated, all the while insisting that I am a good guy really.
 
Ach well...  

Upon seeing how my Xboxy passion has been reawakened, G has very kindly bought me another game to play next.  Crysis 2... anyone?  (All I can say from the box is that it looks very unpacifist indeed...)

Arrrgh!  Hell hath no grump greater than me having to do admin.  Oh god, I detest it with an unequalled passion..  
 
How, in the name of arse, did I end up as the sort of person who has to do a tax return and send invoices?  
 
It's just not worth it, people.  Say NO to freelance work.  Especially the sort where you only end up earning 10p after tax.

Keep your heads down and stay as PAYE, whatever you do...
  
*grumblemumblegrumblemumble*

PS:  as for you, Mr Tumble, kindly stick your spotty bag where the sun don't shine and STFU.
    
 

Those of you who are gamers...  have any of you played Skyrim?  What's it like?  Does it have a meaningful and immersive plot and a sense of purpose?  Is the gameplay satisfying?  Or is it one of those games where you effectively run around all day doing seemingly pointless, disconnected errands and challenges amid a load of fantasy wantasy bollox?
  
I got a copy of Assassins Creed Revelations for xmas and it has reopened a little Xboxy fire in my soul.  (Not that I get any time to game these days, but never mind...  I'm putting in a bit of evening time when I can) 
  
I'm in a vague dither about whether I would enjoy Skyrim.  Is it roleplay?  I've never been a roleplay girl, but I think I might have turned a corner since Fallout 3, which I LOVED.  In truth I don't think anybody really makes my sort of games any more (Y'know...  action adventure - Tomb Raiderish stuff, big on exploration and treasure finding with a fairly linear plot, decent puzzling and a healthy dose of shooting).  These days I tend to devote my rare gaming hours to things like Ass Creed and the better end of FPS.
 
I'm having trouble putting into words what it is about the open-world games that keeps failing to grip me.  I think it must just be me, cos everyone else seems to love them.  Fallout 3 somehow got it right by being primarily an exploration/action game with a big sense of purpose and billions of complex, well-written side missions which didn't feel like pointless, repetitive filler.  Conversely...  I keep returning to Rockstar games with a sense of hope and ending up disappointed.  I really wanted to love Red Dead Redemption, but somehow it just filled me with the same old GTA-ish ennui, once I found myself running around doing repetitive errands for people to earn pin money.  (FFS, I might as well go to work!)
 
I like single player games where there is a meaningful (vaguely linear) sense of purpose.  Things change - the stuff you do causes the game to move on... you get to explore and the scenery changes, you find secret things, you solve problems, you play with cool weapons, you don't have to wade through 18 hours of poorly written dialogue in between every action scene.  I like fast and fluid gameplay.  All the better if you get to have fun with a sniper rifle and lots of exploding cans.  Anything that forces me to use stealth or makes me do timed missions or repeat things until they pass some tiresome success criteria just has me throwing my controller across the room in a tantrum.  
  
So... what do you reckon?  Will I enjoy Skyrim?  
  
(Given that hardly anyone I know is a gamer, I suspect I shall sit and watch tumbleweed blow past on this one. I might have to crosspost to some other communities...)
  

Many happies to you all, fiends.  It's a new dawn... I hope it's a bright one.

I have peered at various people's end of year memes and thought about doing one, but the answers to all of my Qs would be so tiresomely obvious as to send you all into a coma.  

Suffice to say...

Did you fall in love in 2011?  Yes, blindingly

Compared to this time last year, are you:
  Fatter or thinner?    Technically thinner, but horribly less toned
  Richer or poorer?    Poorer
  Happier or sadder?  Happier

What song will always remind you of 2011?   Diddle diddle dumpling

What would you like to do more of next year?  Sleeping, going to the theatre/cinema, socialising with you lot
 
I ought to make a ton of resolutions about getting fit, sorting my life out, etc.  But I never bother. I have decided that my theme song for 2012 shall be:  Don't Worry, Be Happy 
  
xx  

For those of you who are staying in or hosting parties or whatever...

Here's a festive cocktail recipe that I have purloined from the December issue of Delicious magazine.  We made these at Xmas and it was like a yummier version of Bucks Fizz, so I am making them again tonight.  (Obv if you are one of those poor misguided souls who do not love Campari, you could substitute that ingredient for something else)

Ingredients:
 - Clementines (approx 15)
-  Sugar (approx 70g)
-  Prosecco (or whatever fizz you have handy)
-  Campari 

Squeeze the clementines and sieve the juice into a saucepan.  
Add approx 70g sugar (or sugar to taste)
Bubble on the stove for about 10 mins, or until reduced by a third
Chill the syrup in the fridge

When ready to drink...
Pour about 20ml clementine syrup into a champagne glass
Top up with fizz
Add a dash of Campari to taste
Glug
Pour another

Happy new year y'all!
x

 

 

Dearest Fiends,
 
I do hope that you've all had fantabulous christmases.  We've just spent a glorious week in the deepest depths of rurality with sara_lou.  I say this with no exaggeration... the farmhouse that we're staying in is located in "nameless road" according to the Sat Nav and can only be navigated to via several miles of winding, hilly, muddy, unlit track and a cattle grid and a field **urban fear**.
 
The house itself is lovely - cosy but spacious with a living room full of books and a huge open fireplace and a country kitchen and a rolltop bath.  Also the views are amazing... I must post some pics when I get home.  We've spent the week with no mobile phone signal - but thankfully the owners prevented me from coming out in hives by supplying a wifi signal that we can pick up from one corner of the (GORGE) kitchen. 
 
Being a load of foodie troughers, we've spent most of the week ensconced in the kitchen overlooking rolling hills whilst glugging a variety of alcoholic beverages and cooking big dinners.  Sara Lou has baked fresh bread every single day and I swear there is no bread on earth that tastes as good. 

On boxing day Sara went for a walk in the nearby field and had a rare sighting of human life... a load of tweedy duffers with shotguns hunting pheasants.  Then, while she was entertaining her mum and brother, G and I took Micro for a jolly overnight stay in Sidmouth with his grandma and today we met up again in Lyme Regis, which I'd never been to before.  What a lovely place - I wouldn't mind going back sometime and renting a seafront house for a holiday.  (It appears to specialise in pretty coloured houses, fossils, Jane Austen and French Leutenants women.)
 
Tonight is our last night in the house and we're going to wind down with a spread of roast chestnuts, baked camembert and Sara's home made mushroom soup and another divine loaf.  Tomorrow we'll be saying a sad farewell and hopefully getting our deposit back for no breakages!  Then we're tootling off to Somerset for a few hours so that Jim-Jam can meet his cousins for the first time and finally back to good old Twickers for a dose of suburbanity.
 
My lil fluffbags have been at home all week with my sister who has probably spoiled them with kitty reiki.  I expect they will look upon my return with utter "meh" ...but they'll get compulsory cuddles anyway and at least Jim Jam will be excited because he'll get to bounce around on his auntie.
 
I dread to think how we're going to fit all of Micro's pressies into our residence.  What on earth happened to my resolve?  I SWORE there would be no baby tat...  (next year there will be a one-in-one-out rule. Got that?)
 
Saddo that I am, I am rather looking forward to getting back to some stockpiled telly, not least the sleb special episodes of University Challenge.  (G and I are such geeks that we both bought each other the Uni C quiz book for xmas.)  Also G bought me the last instalment of Harry Potter on DVD, which I never got to see on the bg screen - yippee!
 
Well I suppose I should stop wittering on now and be sociable.  Happy hols everyone. x
 

Forgive me, fiends, but I am a right slushy moo this evening.
  
I was walking home from Twickers feeling like jollity personified with a bag full of xmas doggy treats from the pound shop and some delicious dinner from Waitrose and me skipping along singing songs to the world's cutest baby, whose little red nose was peeping out from his fleece blanket and his snowflake hat and the hand-knitted cardie from sara_lou's mum and his fluffy boxing glove mittens...  and I realised that I was about as insufferably cheerful as a person could be.
    
It may have helped that I was thinking about our upcoming xmas holiday whilst walking down a road full of the most beautiful xmas decs...  a total winter wonderland, with someone roasting chestnuts and the smell following me down the road like some sort of xmas-mania-inducing crack.
  
Then I arrived home and Micro had some daddy cuddles and then I decided that it was time to have another go at feeding him some solids.  He hasn't been taking very well so far to the variety of purees I've concocted or the organic handwoven cereals, but - my god - the boy has just gone NUTS for a Farley's Rusk dissolved in milk.  He ate the lot and still had room for pureed pear afterwards.  I had a taste and it is weirdly delicious.  (I think I may have just fed him the fat and sugar equivalent of a happy meal. Oh dear.  This does not bode well for my broccoli puree.)
   
Maybe I will actually get on and write my xmas cards this evening ...and light the fire and get sloshed on mulledy wulledy.  I am so damned festive - just call me Charles Meanie-cat DIckens.
 
Meanwhile, somebody is not in bed.  Who is not in bed?  Iggle Piggle is not in bed.  Don't worry Iggle Piggle,  It's time to go...
  

A few minutes ago I contracted a severe form of tourettes as a result of noticing that half of my tree lights were off.  

Don't start on at me about my diamond shoes rubbing.... this minor irritant of modern life totally does my head in every year, because I have hundreds of lights on the damn tree and it happens ALL THE TIME.  

For future reference, fiends, can anyone please tell me - what on earth is the name of the feature that I'm looking for when I buy a string of lights - there must be a word for those type of lights that let a single bulb blow without taking the whole string with them?  (I swear next year I am replacing all of the buggers with these).

Anyway - back to the miracle.  After subjecting G to a lengthy grumble of extreme blueness, I set about the tedious task of testing every single bulb... and, lo!  And yea!  And a rustle of angel's wings...  the very first bulb I tested was the blown one.  
 
Little pleasures, fiends...
 

Ye gods, the bablet is finally asleep.  I really should be using the next hour to race around doing any of the following:  washing up/finishing my xmas decs/writing cards/wrapping presents/buying more presents/doing laundry...  but instead I am rambling aimlessly on here and am actually rather tempted to sneak in the last 20 mins of Enter the Dragon that I fell asleep through the other night.  (I'd forgotten quite how funktastic that film is.)
   
You can tell when G isn't here because I slip into a state of dietary and spiritual subsistence, getting by on cheese and kung fu movies.  The rest of the time it's nursery rhymes on Spotify... though I've moved on to xmas carols today, to get Micro and me into the spirit of things.
  
Normally by this date I have morphed into a terrifying, deranged Anthea-Kirsty Christmas monster, with the entire house decked out with festivities and my xmas day menu all planned and a sparkling pile of home-made Nigella chilli jams all lined up in the kitchen.  This year I am more like a girl whose brain was accidentally replaced by lime jelly... "If only Jellyhead could get to the presents". 
  
I will come out and confess though that I caught a few mins of Kirsty's homemade xmas the other day and didn't heckle.  In fact I quite liked her home-made garland.  I guess I am not really cured at all.  I might have to watch that ep on 4OD...